Bramble Man

Seasons of change and growth are often those of great stress and fatigue, but occasionally the man being stretched still finds brief moments to reflect, to pray, and to sit in uninterrupted silence. It’s during these times, usually towards the conclusion of each day, that I find myself asking many questions. Did I do enough today? Is what I produced of any value? Did I lead others well? Did I love at all? What kind of man was I today, but more importantly what kind of man am I becoming? 

What kind of man am I becoming? I don’t know how to answer that question, except for telling you what kind of man that I want to be. Before I do that though, I’d like to encourage you to spend more time thinking through what kind of person you want to be. Too often we just exist without examining the direction or purpose of our lives and then we wonder how we got to where we are. If thinking about who you want to be seems too large of a question, then start by just thinking of something. If thinking seems too large a step, then just try to be more attentive, more aware. Use your mind and eventually your heart will move too. Lean into the thorny places of life and seek Christ there. 

What kind of man do I want to be? 

First, I want to be a man who loves. I want to love those around me with unwavering patience and kindness. I want to be gentle, not harsh. I want to be defined by the love of Christ and supremely influenced by what that means for how I ought to live. Love requires hard conversations, admittance of wrong, repentance, and forgiveness. If I am loved by Christ, I want to be a man who loves like him. 

I want to be a man who leads well. I have a strange relationship with leadership. I recognize that there is a desire in my heart to lead, but I also am content to follow. I don’t want to be a man who forces my way to the front and demands attention, but if I am asked or called to lead then I’ll step forward and do so. I want to be a man fulfilled by purpose, not position. I want to be an understanding leader, one who can relate to those in my charge. I want to grow in my ability to make hard decisions and work through tough conversations. I want to be a leader who lifts others up, while denying myself with genuine humility. 

I want to be a thinker. I want my mind to be engaged with my heart and soul. I want to process information, understand it, draw conclusions, and make sound decisions. I want to be a man of reason. I want to write and speak clearly, effectively communicating the thoughts and convictions given to me by the Father, revealed through his Word. I want to be simple, yet poetic. I want to have depth in my writing, while not being too academic. Being concise is a skill I am working on. Choosing my words carefully seems more important than ever. I want to use my words to glorify Christ, to show how worthy he is to be praised. 

I want to be a calming presence, a stable place for others to rest. I want to be a trusted friend, one who speaks truth, and calls out lies. I want to participate in the work of stoking holy fire in the hearts of others. I want those around me to see and love Christ. 

It’s easy to think about the man you would be if your circumstances changed. It’s difficult to actually be that man here and now. So, am I all these things that I said I want to be? No, at least not fully. I am not blind to the sin and brokenness within myself. I know I need more grace, more mercy, more Christ. My dependency and need for him grows each day.

All in all, I want to be a man who loves Christ, a man after his heart. His provision has never left me, kindness never failed me, grace never lost me, providence never forgot me.

I want to be a man of Christ, embracing the brambles on his narrow way. The challenges and heartaches of learning to love, lead, think, write and speak are just the prickly thorns that cut and bleed out all that is not of Jesus. Grass makes for easy walking, but brambles bear more fruit. No man has ever walked with Christ and come out unscathed.

I want to be a bramble man because Christ is hidden among the thorns.